Team member: ‘Have you got a minute?’
You: ‘Go on……’
30 minutes later you’re behind schedule and seem to have landed a big monkey on your back and a mountain of tasks on your already bulging to-do list.
So many leaders love the idea of a ‘coaching approach’ to leadership but believe it can ‘take too long’ or else they just slip into the auto-pilot of reactive problem solving.
There is another way – even when you’re pushed for time.
This is how it works.
Team Member: Have you got a minute?
You: I’ve got 10 minutes – What do you need?
You: What’s the most useful thing we can do in these 10 minutes to help you move forward?
Result? Team member decides what they need to take the first step towards their solution and you leave without the monkey.
Try it – it really does work.
I’ve been conducting a poll in my Effortless Leader Revolution Facebook Group on the topic of Leadership Confidence.
The NUMBER ONE area where people want to find more confidence is in the area of Difficult Conversations.
Now, I could give you a whole load of ‘tips and techniques’ but it would only go part way to helping you get to grips with this.
And because this is something I struggled with myself for such a long time I feel ‘called’ to share what I’ve learned about this all-too-common topic.
Not to mention some of the other topics that kill our confidence.
I’d love to hear your questions about leadership confidence. Email them to me here [email protected]
I promise to answer every question I get.
Over to you!
If confidence is the thing that holds you back and you want to change this in 2020 I’m your gal.
I’ve had to work on this stuff so much myself over the years and I’ve supported dozens of leaders like you to build their confidence so that they’re happier, more focused and ultimately better leaders.
If I can do it and they can do it then you can do it too. (No magic wands, elves or unicorns required).
I wish you a very happy Christmas and a confident 2020.
P.S. My Lead with Confidence programme launches early in the New Year. The price? About the same as a quality one day training course but with focused content, ongoing support and accountability. +++ PLUS no need to venture out into the freezing cold, sit in an airless corporate box or drink stewed tea. Intrigued? Email me at [email protected] and I’ll let you know when we’re launching.
It’s probably way too early to be thinking of New Year resolutions when there are presents to buy, turkeys to cook and trees to decorate.
But just imagine for a minute that one year has passed – it’s December 2020.
If you had a time machine what would you love to be saying this time next year?
Or something else (I’d love to know…..!)
Who can make this happen?
As the saying goes, focus on what YOU can influence and change.
It’s easy (but lazy) to blame others or make excuses when we’re struggling, unhappy or unsure. But pointing the finger never gets you anywhere - apart from deeper into misery, despair and victimhood.
If confidence is something you’d love more of – because it would open up so many more opportunities for you and those around you - here’s something that will help you make a start.
My Five Keys to Leadership Confidence quiz. It takes five minutes AND gives you some simple strategies or ideas to implement straight away.
Santa can’t give you confidence. In fact, no-one can GIVE you confidence. You’ve got to take responsibility for changing whatever it is that’s getting in your way.
And you CAN do it one step at a time.
PS: In early 2020 I launch my Lead with Confidence programme . The price? About the same as a quality one day leadership course but with focused, actionable content and ongoing support (+++ no need to travel, find a parking space, do cringey role plays, put up with the pompous prat in the corner or drink lukewarm coffee). Intrigued? Email me at [email protected] and I’ll let you know when...
When we lose the need to have all the answers and really HEAR what someone is telling us (without interrupting, analysing, justifying or judging) our personal power grows stratospherically.
And I’m talking about power WITH people not power OVER them.
Let me give you an example.
Working with a busy team in a high-tech industry recently , I noticed how one of the leaders in particular had a great capacity to hear what was being said and ‘dig deeper’ with her questions.
The others played verbal ping-pong. Now they are a great bunch of people and hugely talented. But this one leader stood out like a beacon.
She really got to understand one of the key problems in the team.
The sense of ISOLATION and LONELINESS experienced by some of the new team members. (Their words).
When we don’t listen well, we miss that very emotive language that tells us so much. So whilst everyone else talked about ‘induction policies’ this leader identified a much more powerful...
One of the things that can deflate our self-confidence is rejection – in fact rejection is one of the things we are hard wired to fear the most.
So I was interested to read recently about Jia Jiang’s experiments and work on embracing rejection.
It got me thinking – one of the things my father always did was ask for a discount – pretty much anywhere we went. My teenage self would cringe and want the ground to swallow me up. But he got surprisingly more ‘yes, ok’s’ than you might think.
And I realise how much this helped me later in life – negotiating ridiculously low hotel room rates when I worked in the travel industry, in particular, to get the best deals for our clients.
Even now, if we’re making a big purchase (house, car) I’m the one who asks for the reduction/discount with no qualms whatsoever. It’s an area of my life where I feel very confident.
So it got me thinking about other areas in my life where I would...
P.S. If you missed last week’s article, you can find it here.
I’ve learned over the years that the first step to making something happen is to simply declare your intention – to make a public commitment.
Yes it can be uncomfortable.
But public accountability is powerful.
So if there’s something you want, start by ‘putting it out there’.
And, importantly, ‘put it out there’ to people who are on your side. Who’ve got your back. Who will support you in whatever way you need (and call you out on any BS.)
My big commitment for January 2020 is to launch my online and group coaching programme.
I’ve been planning it for a while but ….. (Yep, my avoidance is linked not only to the volume of work involved but to a bit of ‘inner critic’ a bit of ‘what if….’(insert ridiculous catastrophic phrase here….)
All the usual stuff that I am sure you will recognise in your own life. (Fear of rejection is one of the most powerful fears of all).
But we have a choice....
Lack of leadership confidence is holding too many people back.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
I want you to know this.
Firstly - Confidence is made not born.
Secondly - we can ALL grow our confidence with integrity and without undergoing a personality transplant or becoming a clone or an arrogant, entitled idiot.
Thirdly - We’re making a BIG mistake when we say ‘I’ll do that (whatever ‘that’ is) when I’ve got more confidence’.
NO, NO, NO!!
The way we become MORE confident is by taking on those new challenges one step at a time.
Taking action effects change.
If you want 2020 to be the year you REALLY step up and find that confident you (and help those around you find THEIR confidence too) then keep watching and keep reading.
I’ve got a ton of things to share with you.
P.S. If you’re in my Effortless Leader Revolution Facebook Group I’m doing a 30 minute live broadcast today at 1pm UK time (1st November) on: Four...