Recently I got some feedback on one of my promotion emails for my upcoming Lead with Confidence programme.

It wasn’t pretty.

It was along the lines of ‘programme looks great but…….’ And then some comments about how I’d advertised it. (You probably got the email so you may have thought something similar).

But I was delighted – because if I’m missing something, I’d much rather know.

We all have blind spots.

When I read his feedback, it was completely obvious what I could have done to be much more effective.

It was one of those ‘duh’ moments.

But now I know, and I can be better next time.

Feedback is always gold if it comes from someone who has your best interests at heart.

From someone who has positive intent.

And from someone who wants to succeed.

Wouldn’t you rather know?

As my friend succinctly put it ‘if your skirt is tucked into your knickers, you’d definitely rather know’.

PS: The next...

What three aspirational words describe the leader you want to become?

I’m asking you this because, as one of my mentors always says, ‘what you focus on gets done’.

Here are my words - they’re things I need to improve to make me more effective:

Focused
Organised
Strategic

I’ve written these on a post-it note and stuck it to my screen.

It says:

I am focused
I am organised
I am strategic

And because these words are visible to me all day long it focuses my mind.

At the end of each day, I can ask myself :

How did I live my three words?
Was I successful?
How can I improve tomorrow?

I’d love to know what three words you would choose.

Enjoy your summer.

A quick reminder that the Early Bird price for my Lead with Confidence programme expires at 3pm (UK time) today.

The programme runs through until January, the group element of the programme kicks off in September and you can get started straight away with the bite-sized online learning content.

AND you’ll create your plan in a 1-1 with me to get focused and into action from the get-go.

In fact, when you join today you’re getting an extra 55 days of my support at no extra cost.

It’s a no brainer!

If you show up, follow the steps and take those steps one at a time you’re guaranteed to get results.

You can read about the programme here including success stories from previous attendees, monthly payment options, online learning content, 1-1 coaching , implementation and Time to Breathe Sessions, live masterclasses…… yep, it’s a comprehensive programme – experiential, practical, actionable.

One of the many things I teach my coaching clients is the ‘joy’ of doing a pilot.

Too many of us don’t make things happen because we’re trying to make it perfect.

Case in point:

One of my coaching clients was obsessing over getting the slide deck looking gorgeous before launching her staff wellbeing programme.

I suggested she run a pilot with one test group, ask for feedback and tweak from there (and as you and I both know, they couldn’t give a damn about how pretty her slides were).

Her programme has now been run several times and she tweaks and improves as she goes. And her confidence in this programme (and herself) has skyrocketed as a result.

But more important?

People are genuinely cared for which means they are happier and more productive.

It’s so easy to obsess over the things that make no difference whatsoever. (If you know that’s a habit of yours, I can help).

My Lead with Confidence programme looks very different now from the...

I got lots of responses to my recent post about dealing with low morale in a team – thanks to all of you who responded.

I was reminded me of a great exercise we often do when we’re working with leadership teams.

We ask each team member to describe the team metaphorically. (Or to draw it).

‘This team is like a……………………………….’

This is effective because it requires creativity, involves a lot of laughter, inspires curiosity and opens up a wider conversation – without all the usual ‘this team is very supportive’ or ‘this team is disorganised’ or ‘this team is exhausted’ ambiguity.

Imagine the conversation you can have when a team is described as a:

‘Top of the range Range-Rover with a flat battery’

Or a

Pride of hungry lions

Or a

‘Group of lemmings heading for the cliff’ (danger zone, that one…...!)

It injects some...

One of the things I struggled with as a leader (and in my early days as a coach) was being able to ‘say it as it is’.

I hear my mother’s voice (God rest her soul) in my head telling me not to ‘make personal remarks’ and ‘if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all’.

I get it – but these messages we pick up in our early years are not always helpful to us or others as we navigate the adult world of work and life.

Now of course I’m NOT saying that we should make intentionally hurtful remarks or start behaving like mad internet trolls and being vicious, spiteful and mean.

But something gets lost in translation along the way.

I had to do a lot – and I mean A LOT - of personal work to understand that there is another way – a way to be refreshingly honest AND show empathy at the same time. My desire to please people and to be liked had a positive side. But they also stopped me from helping...

If confidence is holding you back (or you think it is…..) you are so not alone.

But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Firstly - Confidence is made not born.

Secondly - we can ALL grow our confidence without undergoing a personality transplant or becoming a clone or an arrogant, entitled idiot.

Thirdly - We’re making a BIG mistake when we say ‘I’ll do that (whatever ‘that’ is) when I’ve got more confidence’.

The way we become MORE confident is by taking on those new challenges one small step at a time.

Action leads to confidence, not the other way round.

In my 1-1 and group coaching programmes I’ll help you take the right action in the right order.

No more trying to figure it all out on your own.

The result? You’ll fly – just like Naomi did.

In the last blog I shared an experiment with you. We looked at ways to read the room and tune your antennae – with a view to making positive changes starting with your meetings or interactions with others.

I shared an experiment to help you do just that.

Here are the kind of things you might notice now that you hadn’t really noticed before (or if you had – you’d not done anything about it).

People committing to things and then not doing them. As one person said ‘When I did the Reading the Room experiment it became obvious to me that commitment was lacklustre at best. I realised we need to understand why we’d got into this pattern and what we need to do with it. It’s almost become accepted that people won’t deliver on time’.

‘It made me realise how much people talk for the sake of it and don’t add anything new to the conversation. This is seriously adding to overwhelm and time wasting for everyone. It also...

You don’t influence change by starting with furious activity.

You start by observing what is.

Here’s something to get you started.

This experiment is best done in a small meeting that you are not chairing. (It can be virtual or face to face). Ideally it would be a meeting that you attend regularly.
Your role in this meeting is to watch and observe AND as we coaches like to say a lot… ‘to be curious without judgement’. The purpose is simply to tune your antennae and to practise reading the room – so that you start to notice things that would normally pass you by.

The 80/20 rule applies here.

You need to listen for 80% of the time and speak only for 20%. Here are ten things to pay attention to:

• Imagine you are looking down at the meeting in your helicopter. What do you notice? Is everyone there on time? Are people prepared? Who is quietly texting or sending emails (they think we don’t notice – but we do!)

• Look at each person in turn....

Some time ago, I worked with a wonderful lady who was the team comedian. She was known as ‘the joker’.

Which is all very well, but she wanted a promotion and nobody could imagine her in a more senior position – because nobody could take her seriously.

She eventually had to leave the organisation and re-invent herself in a new role - (not losing her humour and sense of fun of course – just dialling it down a little).

Then there’s ‘the troublemaker’ – Passionate, highly intelligent, strong values about doing the right thing – but impatience and a complete inability to see the world from someone else’s shoes. (And guess what? That’s not helping him get promoted either).

You probably know the whinger, the drama King or Queen, the pacesetter, the perfectionist, the procrastinator, the victim.

Years ago, when I first set up my business, I was so desperate to be liked by my clients (never a good thing in a coach!) that I charged...