I’ve been recording content for my Facebook group this week and one of the topics I talk about is resistors, energy vampires, mood hoovers – call them what you will.
Of course, those people are NEVER us. Are they?
Er – yes.
Or at least I was, yesterday.
I started to feel cross about ‘other people’ (no names ).
Blaming THEM for not thinking about me and ‘doing what I wanted them to do’ (I know - cringe )
This stopped me focusing on something productive and useful.
And I finished the day pretty p****d off with myself and the world.
Complete waste of time and energy.
Fortunately for me (and my poor husband) I was able to give myself a good talking to and set the intention to start today differently.
And I did.
Then, all of a sudden, those people ‘did what I wanted them to do’.
Now, I don’t consider myself a woo woo type of gal but I do believe that the type of energy we put out there comes back to us.
In my experience there are two main reasons why people don’t reach their full potential in life (whatever that means for them).
It’s rarely down to a lack of intelligence, experience or knowledge.
It is partly down to a lack of self-confidence and self-belief. (That won’t surprise you).
But it’s also a lack of ability to take specific action to start to build that confidence. (Because one of those limiting beliefs we often hold is ‘I’ll wait until I’m more confident and then I’ll do x, y or z’).
We see our lack of confidence as such a big ‘thing’ but actually it isn’t. (Only in our heads).
You can work on those beliefs and you can take small actions at the same time. The key word here is small.
You don’t have to leap out of your comfort zone all the time. You can tiptoe.
And consistency pays off.
Your confidence – with a good dose of humility - empowers others. The ripple effect that it can create is...
I’ve been noticing how much there is in my inbox about resilience, at the moment. (You’ll find my team resilience articles on LinkedIn if you’ve not seen them already).
I’m also noticing something else. How much we love to ‘be strong’ or be recognised for our ‘coping skills’ (I’m guilty as charged).
We’ve often been taught to put on a brave face or a ‘stiff upper lip’ (so British!).
‘I’m resilient’ we tell ourselves (as if resilience is a fixed state rather than something that fluctuates).
So, when someone says, ‘are you okay?’ we say ‘fine’!
But I don’t think that’s a great question right now (or ever) if we want to know the truth.
When I ask, ‘what’s going on for you’? and then shut up, I can have a deeper conversation.
So, let me ask you…. ‘what’s going on for you right now?’ because I generally care about you...
I hope you and your family are safe and well and that you have time to relax over the Easter weekend – although I don’t know about you but it’s all feeling a bit Groundhog day!
My mission has always been to help you to be more successful without working harder and that’s even more important right now.
With that in mind I recorded 5 short (less than 10 minutes) live videos for my Effortless Leader Revolution Facebook group this week.
If you want to take a look then do join us in the Effortless Leader Revolution.
I will continue to serve you with valuable and practical resources over the coming weeks and months.
Happy Easter to you.
I don’t know about you but I’ve had my fair share of wobbles over the last couple of weeks.
At times I feel like hiding away (pretty easy to do right now!) and at times I feel like I can conquer the world.
I know that goes with the territory. None of us has been here before.
All the ups and the downs and the in-betweens.
Maybe you feel the same.
But the question that’s giving me hope and driving me forward is this one.
‘How do I want to be remembered once this is over?'
I want to keep showing up! With humanity and love.
We can all choose our path.
Take care and stay safe and well.
My Office Manager and virtual assistant Pat has produced one of the best guides EVER for working from home.
I know there’s been a lot about this subject over the last couple of weeks but I didn’t want you to miss out on this one.
Should set you up well for the week ahead.
Get you copy here:
As our inboxes are chocca full of stuff all about coronavirus right now I wanted to take a different approach.
In my Effortless Leader Revolution Facebook community I did three short videos this week with some practical guidance for leaders.
Please feel free to pass them on.
And there are many more resources in the Facebook Group if you want to join us.
Stay safe and well.
‘You need to believe in yourself, more’
Has anyone ever said that to you?
How did you respond? With ‘yes, I know’ or ‘Really? I didn’t know that.’
I’m guessing the former? (Tell me if I’m wrong!)
But knowing it and knowing what to do about it is perhaps not so obvious.
Your first step might be to clarify what the other person means specifically (see my post last week which will really help you get that clarity).
You may or may not agree with their views but of course their perception is their reality.
Your second step? Lots of possibilities but I like this question:
‘If I had more self belief, how would I show up in a different way?’
That’s a question for you to consider and to ask the person who gave you that feedback.
Then you can decide what, if anything, you want to do about it.
One of the things I notice when I’m supervising newish coaches as well as coaching leaders is how easy it is to assume we understand what is being said.
But what we are actually doing is making meaning based on our own ‘map of the world.’
I remember falling into this trap myself as a new coach way back when – particularly with those words ‘challenge’ and ‘support’. A client would say, for example, that he wanted me to challenge him and I’d say ‘yes, of course’ - but my understanding of the word ‘challenge’ might be very different from his. So we’re already at cross purposes.
I love the phrase that I learned when I did my Conversational Intelligence® training with the late Judith E. Glaser. She talked about ‘double-clicking’ on words or phrases to better understand the meaning.
I use that phrase a lot. If I ask my coaching client to ‘double- click’ on the...